We recently conducted a poll, and this was the biggest problem that leaders have…

“How can I be liked by my team AND get results?”

So, we wanted to share our thoughts on it.

You may have been promoted to leading a team,

Or you may be completely new to the company.

Either way, stepping into a new role; wanting to have the acceptance of your team and of your management, is natural.

Sometimes you can feel like you’re stuck between all of that. The biggest question everyone is thinking, that keeps us up at night is….

“How can I get results from my team, without being mean?”

We look around us to see how other successful leaders have accomplished this:

  • Should I be tough?
  • Should I be nice?
  • Should I be their friend?
  • Should I persuade them? Manipulate them?

Have you decided how you will be yet? Or are you doing what most do and just wing it?

If you’re asking yourself these questions, I think you’re coming at leadership from the wrong angle.

You see, leadership isn’t about “being liked”, “playing good cop/bad cop”, “being mean” or “not being mean”. If you carry on this way, from experience, you will struggle.

If you’re open to it, here’s a different way of looking at leadership.

In life you’ll find that you have different roles, and within those roles you have different outcomes.

As a Mum or Dad, you want to keep your children safe. Every conversation you have with your child is inside of “keeping them safe”.

Now if you’re an Auntie or Uncle, it’s a different role… you probably want to have fun! Every interaction with your niece or nephew is to have fun with them.

As a friend, you may want to create memories, whether it’s a drunken night out or a spa day.

So, as a manager or leader, what’s your outcome?

To be nice? Probably not.

It might be:

  • To produce results whilst having your team thrive
  • To support your team’s growth
  • To have your team win!

When you’re coming from this perspective it’s not about “being nice” or “being liked”.

When you’re trying to “be nice” or “be liked”, it’s just your ego getting in the way (you may have heard it as another name).

It’s the voice that tells you not to get up in the morning.

It’s the voice that tells you that you’ll look stupid if you ask a question in a meeting.

It’s the voice that panics when you’re facilitating a meeting and it’s running late… “What do I do?!”

It takes over.

Before you know it, you’re no longer leading a team powerfully… all your worries have come to light.

“What if they don’t like me?”

“Why won’t they do what they’re paid to do?”

“What if I’m not good enough?”

It’s all rubbish!

I’m now going to answer the million-dollar question,

How do I balance being liked AND getting results?

Firstly, you acknowledge that if you want to be liked, it’s coming from YOU The Ego, not YOU The Leader.

If you put [first name] to one side, and put your leadership hat on,

  • What choice would you make?
  • What actions would you take?
  • What would you say?
  • How would you act?

As a leader it’s not about being liked, getting it right, or being tough… it’s about bringing your team together and accomplishing your goals as a team and growing in the process.

There’s no “I” in team. Move your ego to one side and stand in your leadership.