If you’ve been in our workshop, you’ve probably heard about Mel.

(If you haven’t, you should definitely sign up for the next one)

 

Mel was one of my team members. 

Mel used to cause me so much heartache… (trauma may be too strong of a word.) 

On multiple occasions, she’d cause me to sit on a Friday night to complete work 

(FYI that she said she’d complete).

She’d cause me anger when she would deny that she said she’d do the work. 

She had the audacity to blame me and say I’d got it wrong.

You’ve probably come across team members, colleagues or maybe even leaders, like this? 

It’s highly frustrating and frankly quite annoying. 

Until…

I realised there was another way (and no it wasn’t “getting rid” of Mel)

Even though I considered it.

What I’m about to say is one of the reasons that getting rid of the problem won’t help you.

If you look carefully, you’ll find there are Mel’s everywhere in your life. 

You can continue to avoid all of your problems. 

OR you can ask…. 

 

“What can I do about the situation?”

 

I realised that pointing the finger at her was getting me nowhere. 

Blaming her for how I felt. 

I could hear myself going on and on and on… to others about how it was all her fault.

 

Yes. It got me nowhere.

I became angrier, more annoyed, more frustrated.

 

You may have team members who do something, and you react. 

You point the finger at them and say things like;

“It’s their fault I feel this way”

“It’s their fault that the work isn’t complete”

“It’s their fault it isn’t handed in on time.”

 

“I have no idea what to do about it.”

I felt powerless.

I’ll share with you what I did, and maybe it’s something that will help you. 

Firstly, I stopped blaming her. 

Not because I didn’t think it was her fault. Or that I thought it was my fault. 

When blame and fault were in the mix, it didn’t get me anywhere. 

It got me more of the same.

& I was sick of it. 

 

I started to ask myself, “What can I do about the situation?”

I realised there were a few things I could do. 

  • I could share with her that something wasn’t working. 
  • Together we could create something that would work for both of us.
  • We could have clear “by when” it would be done, how it would be sent and to whom.

I also created for myself a boundary, where if someone didn’t complete the work, I wouldn’t complete it in my time if it didn’t work for me (I.e. on a Friday night!). 

 

I didn’t expect it to, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I actually started to enjoy working with Mel.

It seeped into other areas of my life… where I felt despair. 

I had a spring in my step and a glint in my eye.

People enjoyed being around me more. 

Our team started to thrive, everywhere I was asking the question…

 

“What can I do about the situation?”

 

Now it’s your turn. 

So have a look at your situation.

Are you ready for it to stop becoming more of the same?

Are you ready to stop blaming them AND you?

Are you ready to ask yourself the question “What can I do about the situation?”

 

You have the power to alter any situation you are in right now.