Let’s get to it. Enjoy!
1. But first coffee..
I promised myself I would go to the gym in the evening, but something came up at work and I could not make it. Again ๐คฆโโ๏ธ
Happens, right? Again and again. From time to time. Nothing I can do about it. Work is a priority, they need me. Gym can wait. ๐คทโโ๏ธ
This was me a while ago. And I was used to it. Not happy about it, but was fine ๐. That is what I thought.
Hoping nothing will come up at work and then I can do it. ๐
Until one day.. when I saw it. Looked like was fine, when in fact..
โถ I was stressed & overwhelmed ๐ง
โถ I was quite a few kg extra & I was eating unhealthy ๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ง
โถ I was being angry at others and at myself ๐ค
โถ I had not much trust in myself, and a lot of hope ๐ค
And I had some good reasons why ๐
โถ “But something came up at work and I could not make it.”
What I was actually thinking: “Nothing I can do about it. I have no choice. Sport is no good enough reason why to say I cannot help this evening.”
How I see it now: Actually, something always comes up, something always happens. The power is here with me, I can choose to say no to work and go to the gym. Or I can choose to say yes to work and not go to the gym. What’s the difference? My life, my rules. I can make the choice consciously, it’s my choice, my power, and not an external thing that I have no control over. ๐ช๐๐ฅ
โถ “But I was not in the mood anyway.”
What I was actually thinking: “I have to align my moods, my feelings, the sun and the stars to go to the gym.” ๐โญ
How I see it now: Well, moods are unpredictable, so just grab your stuff and get out the door! ๐ฌ
โถ “But my work always comes first.”
What I was actually thinking: “This is a good reason. I can use it to justify with myself and with others.”
How I see it now: Sometimes I use “But my daughter always comes first.” So which one comes first? ๐
I have priorities of which I am aware, more or less.
And … “My well-being comes โฆ when?” Sometime in the future. Not now.
I’m not talking about when something unexpected happen, like my daughter being sick, that is a different story.
And I’m not talking about being perfect, that is a different story too. I’m talking about when I can do it, but I just have the same reasons why.
The Moral: keep the promises I make to myself for my well-being.
2. Everything is temporary..
2 years ago I was doing everything. Work. Family. Sport. Intensive courseS (means not only one ๐).
Until… a friend said “Do you ever stop and just do nothing? Do you allow yourself this?”
I was shocked. My thought was: “OMG, I do not stop, there’s always something to do!” ๐ฑ
I did not have a day off. Sunday? The perfect time to do stuff and catch up.
I was SURVIVING. ๐ง
I was EXHAUSTED. ๐ซ
I stopped and said to myself “This is not working. It’s time for me to take care of myself. What’s actually going on?”
A deeper look at that and.. You’ll be surprised!
I wanted people to like me. No was not an option for me. I did not have boundaries.
So I started creating them. Here is one:
“No calls on Sunday. No work on Sunday. Just nothing planned on Sunday.”
First month, terrible, CONSTRAINING. Hard to stick with it. Finding excuses to use Sunday. I did not even know what to do with the time. ๐ฉ
A few months later, FREEDOM. Fun. Peace. No calls. No answering to messages. And I make sure to let people know I am not available. โจ
And now, 2 years later, the boundary is still in place. And.. I just caught myself last Saturday, I was going to put in some work for Sunday. That was close ๐
Here’s my invitation. Consider making your life work. Keep creating boundaries and learn to stick to them. It’s a journey. It’s FREEDOM.
The Moral: Creating boundaries sucks for a while and then it’s freedom.
3. I’m tired..
I’m tired. I work hard. I’m trying to to prove something to myself and the world. I’m trying do it right. I want to get somewhere. To perfection.
In my definition of perfect (which I’m not clear what that is ๐) I’ve been 90% perfect, not ever reaching 100%:
โถ perfect mother for my daughter
โถ perfect at having a healthyย lifestyle
โถ perfect at being a coach
โถ perfect at doing everything I said I’ll do
โถ perfect at keeping my house in order
And I’m tired. So
โถ Sometimes I sleep in on a Saturday while my daughter watches cartoons and has some sweets for breakfast
โถ Sometimes I’m listening to Ed Shareen on a Sunday morning, have a cappuccino and a croissant; and 2 beers and a pizza for lunch
โถ Sometimes I have a nap after lunch (like yesterday ๐)
โถ Sometimes (actually, most of the times :D) the house is not order and I don’t do anything about it
You won’t believe it, but..
โถ My daughter is happy.
โถ My health is doing well.
โถThe people I work with are happy.
โถ My house is doing well too ๐.
The Moral: Do less, be less perfect at everything. What am I trying to prove to myself and to the world?
4. I’m a doer..
I used to, and still do sometimes ๐ซฃ, validate myself by how much I do. I’m a doer. ๐ฅ
I do, do, do, and then I can say,
“Well done, Andra!” ๐
“You’ve worked hard, go buy yourself something nice!” ๐๐ ๐
As a doer, pausing and reflecting sounded for me like a waste of time ๐ฅฑ.
I could do something with that time! ๐คฏ
Why should I even bother with looking at my behaviours? What could change? It’s fine and I’m not going to be satisfied anyway. ๐ค
I do love coaching, I’d do it with someone else.
But self-reflection … I’ve struggled with that. ๐ซฃ
What I discovered:
โถ It’s an opportunity to pause, observe myself (without judging, that would be recommended!) and approach situations differently in the future. ๐
โถ I thought I know myself, but in reality I’m mostly on autopilot ๐ฉโโ๏ธ. So I became curious about myself. Discovering why I act the way I do, what my intentions are, makes the difference. ๐คฉ
โถ It’s an opportunity to acknowledge myself, how I’ve grown and also to accept when I am ineffective. ๐
โถ Sometimes it sucks ๐ฅด. I see things I could have done better. I justify myself. I blame others. And that’s fine too ๐. Part of the process too.
Some ideas on where to start from with self-reflection:
โถ Ask yourself some questions, such as “How could I have been more effective in the meeting yesterday? What did I avoid?”, “What worked? What did not work?” – this week or today or in the meeting. The choice is yours.
โถ Do it on your own by closing your eyes (or not), keep a journal, talk to a friend or colleague.
โถ Schedule time to do it.
โถ Start small (or not) – take 5 minutes (or 1 hour).
The Moral: Take time to reflect. Weekly. Daily. Whatever works.
Now it’s your turn to stop and reflect:
- What do you take away from these stories?
- Do you recognise yourself in any of them?
- Is there a boundary you want to create that will bring you freedom?
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I love this authentic blog. You could be my soul sister. Thank you for sharing.